The great Indian wedding is composed of numerous elaborate and festive elements. Kuntal Rai explores the unique traditions of this exquisite celebration
Invited to reflect on the essence of Indian weddings, I found myself on a journey back to my own. Despite the years that have passed, the emotional memories sparkle in my mind as I think about these multifaceted celebrations of love and tradition.
At Hindu weddings, the sacred and modern converge in a spectacle like no other. A wedding isn’t a single event; it’s a saga, an odyssey that unfolds over days, weaving together ancient customs, modern flair, and boundless hospitality. From the bustling bazaars of New Delhi to the tranquil shores of Kerala, each region infuses its own essence into the nuptial festivities.
Ranging from three days to an entire week, these ceremonious affairs span from cozy gatherings to grand-scale, global carnivalesque extravagance. From the exuberant dance performances at the sangeet ceremony to the intricate henna designs on the bride’s hands, every aspect of the festivities is imbued with meaning and sentiment.
Yet, against the vibrant landscape of tradition, a captivating transformation is taking place in the approach toward marriage. The traditional embrace of arranged marriages (where families assume the responsibility of matchmaking on behalf of the couple) finds itself intertwined with the blossoming trend of couples choosing love as the cornerstone of their union. This evolution marks a poignant shift, as ideals of romance and personal choice are now dominating the long-standing cultural practices.
A Year of Preparation
The cooler months from November to March are popular for weddings. The auspicious wedding date is decided through consultation with a pandit, who aligns the horoscopes of the bride and groom to discern the most favorable time for the ceremony.
Trousseau shopping is a cherished tradition, usually involving haute couture. From resplendent bridal attire to intricately curated ensembles for the bridal party, every garment is a work of art. The timeless bazaars of Old Delhi, particularly Chandni Chowk, an iconic market from the 17th century, are enchanting destinations for couture shopping.
While it’s one of the most crowded places you shall ever visit, there’s a certain allure to the chaos of the narrow lanes packed with shops. At Katra Neel Marg or Fatehpuri Market you can buy a customized lehenga – a three-piece ensemble comprising an ankle-length skirt, a snug, fitted short top called a choli, and a scarf known as a dupatta. The cascading skirt is embroidered with intricate motifs and adorned with shimmering embellishments, making each sway a testament to craftsmanship.
Chandni Chowk also caters to the groom’s wedding outfit – the sherwani is a regal garment consisting of a knee-length embroidered coat with full sleeves, worn over a churidar (trousers), with traditional shoes called juttis, and an ornate headgear called a safa.
As the grand day approaches, event and decor planning take center stage. From floral arrangements to opulent design, every detail is thoughtfully orchestrated to reflect the couple’s unique style and vision
The pre-wedding ceremony known as the Roka is shared exclusively among the family and close friends of the bride and groom. This sacred initiation marks the auspicious beginning of the couple’s journey into a new chapter of life. It serves as a herald to the forthcoming flurry of wedding preparations, with traditional customs coming alive through the exchange of dried fruits and sweets.
The beginning of the wedding rituals is often marked by the Haldi ceremony, a ritual of purification and blessing symbolizing the couple’s spiritual cleansing and readiness for marriage. A fragrant concoction of turmeric, chickpea paste, essential oils, and yogurt is placed on the bride and groom’s skin. The turmeric’s vibrant yellow hue is believed to ward off evil spirits and bring prosperity. The wedding party and guests often dress in yellow, too, adding a layer of tradition to the festivities.
Then it’s on to the engagement or cocktail evening, the showpiece of months of rehearsals of choreographed music and songs as the bride and groom’s loved ones vie for artistic excellence. The couple are the center of attention in an evening filled with classical performances and Bollywood beats.
The beginning of the wedding rituals is often marked by the Haldi ceremony, a ritual of purification and blessing
The Arrival of the Wedding Day
Traditionally, the mehndi ceremony takes place the day before the big day. Paste made from dried leaves of the henna plant is applied on the bride’s hands and feet.
The dawn of the wedding day is time for the chooda ceremony, symbolizing the bride’s change of status. The bride’s maternal uncle gives her the chooda (a set of bangles usually colored red and white). The bride’s sisters and close friends tie kaliras (ornaments attached to the bangles), signifying good wishes. Next, a hair and make-up team attend to the bride, adorning her with an exquisite lehenga and jewelry. The ornate Maang Tikka is centered on the bride’s forehead and matches the majestic aura of her earrings, necklace, and rings.
The evening ceremony begins with the groom arriving in a baraat (a jubilant musical procession), with his family and friends dancing to the beats of the dhol drum, while he sits on a horse, in a vintage car, or even on a motorbike.
The groom and his baraat are received at the beautifully adorned wedding venue with a traditional aarti (a plate of flowers and a lighted lamp). A tilak (red dot) is placed on the groom’s forehead by the bride’s mother before they proceed to the mandap, a structure made up of four pillars that signify the presence of earth, air, water, and fire. Elaborately decorated with fabric and fresh flowers, it’s the perfect backdrop for Instagram-worthy photos.
The bride arrives under an exquisitely adorned canopy of flowers, held up by her loved ones to signify that she has been raised with love and care. As the groom receives his bride, the ceremony starts with the exchange of a garland of flowers. This is one of the most sincere rituals as the couple sit on top of the sturdy shoulders of their kin, playfully evading each other’s reach.
It’s in this setting that the sacred ceremony of the seven pheras unfolds. The pandit’s melodious chants in Sanskrit cast a reverent spell as a symbolic knot is tied using the ends of the bride’s lehenga and the groom’s scarf, as a gentle merging of their destinies. Amid the flickering flames and fragrance of sacred offerings, the couple circle the sacred fire seven times. The groom applies vermilion to the bride’s forehead, representing the beginning of wedded life together.
A poignant juncture in the wedding narrative is the moment where the bride prepares to depart her childhood abode. She bids a tearful farewell to her family and throws rice backward without looking behind, wishing her parents’ home to be full of happiness and prosperity.
As the strains of the shehnai (a musical instrument like a clarinet) fill the air and stars twinkle overhead, you’ll understand that these vibrant and joyous ceremonies are a testament to the enduring power of love, community, and tradition.
Where to Wed
Jodhpur in Rajasthan is considered to be a blessed land for marriage ceremonies – the legendary Umaid Bhawan Palace was the location of actress Elizabeth Hurley’s wedding. Around 250 miles south, the lakeside city of Udaipur (above) has spectacular historic forts and palaces. At the center of Udaipur’s Lake Pichola, Jag Mandir is often regarded to be the most beautiful wedding venue in India.