Traveling alone doesn’t mean lonely travel – you can have some of the best experiences and adventures in your own company while exploring captivating global destinations
I’ve hiked eight miles into the middle of the Jebel Akhdar mountain range, and suddenly, I notice the clouds overhead turn dark. It’s 80 degrees, so the breeze cools my bare shoulders, which haven’t been exposed since I landed in Oman. Due to the bright glare at 9,000 feet, I need my sunglasses when the sun briefly shines. I hear a faint rumble and a thunderclap, and a drizzle hits my skin. I pull my headphones from my backpack and crank up Kelly Clarkson’s song, “Since You’ve Been Gone,” and dance as if no one is watching because, truly, no one is.
I had dreamed of hiking these mountains, and here I was, coming through on plans I had made with myself, entirely alone, free, and wild.
The rain picks up, forcing me to put both my headphones and sunglasses away. The quick drop in temperature sparks goose bumps on my arms, making me wish I had a warm layer. As I take a minute to recompose myself, I realize I have no cell phone service or snacks, little water left, and that no one knows where I am – not even my hotel concierge, who told me I would not get lost if I followed the green dots painted on every few rocks.
Instead of turning around, I chuckle to myself and channel the infallible resilience I learned from my mom: she said to look ahead to the next peak, and keep going. “The rain will stop. Will you be disappointed if you turn around now without seeing what’s on the other side of that peak?” I ask myself. In every aspect of my life, I’m always climbing to get to the next level of whatever I’m doing, partly out of my innate curiosity and partly out of a deep-seeded competitiveness.
The rain eventually stops. Thanks to those green dots, I complete the 18-mile round-trip trek safely. When I arrive at the trailhead, I still have no cell service, but thanks to the generosity of a kind man coming out of a nearby mosque, I get a ride back to the hotel, where I promptly enjoy a post-hike glass of wine while soaking in my deep bathtub. Another great adventure is complete.
At a young age, I got the travel bug while paging through my grandparents’ photo albums, filled with memories of their adventures abroad. My maternal grandparents had a great love story. Whenever I miss them, I close my eyes and see the smiles on their faces in those photos that captured moments of them traveling across the United Kingdom and Europe.
My paternal grandma’s adventures, however, captivated me the most. From the 1970s through the 1990s, she crossed continents and oceans alone to attend business meetings. I loved listening to her stories of exploring Asia because, at the time, with the absence of the internet and Instagram, it was a land I could not imagine. Thanks to her, my fascination with Asia continues today.
She cited Singapore as her favorite country, so I would call her during my many trips there to share what I saw and describe how much things had changed since her visits. When I went to China for the first time in 2013 for work, I stayed an extra two days to travel solo around Beijing. I remembered seeing photos and hearing stories about how my grandma walked one section of the Great Wall of China in four-inch heels because she was fun like that and because she was fun like that and because that look was true to her “brand.” When I showed her photos of me climbing the Great Wall decked out in full athleisure, and not a hint of make-up on my face, she smiled and said, “You look so happy, dear.”
From Beijing, she visited Shanghai and admired the women’s impeccably tailored and colorful outfits. She took inspiration from her travels abroad to build her incredible wardrobe and create a strong personal style. After retiring her passport, she explored vicariously through me, always asking when I returned from my travels, “Darling, tell me about the fashion!” whether I had been in Bali or Berlin.
My grandma was a trailblazer in many ways and I will forever cherish four lessons she taught me: I am enough; I do not need a partner to have an adventure; I should get dressed up and take myself out on dates; and I alone have the power to find the positive in any situation in life.
Solitary Sojourns
My independence is my most valued possession. It has allowed me to pick up and explore simply because there is something I want to see, do, or taste. I am forever curious, and travel is my favorite way to satiate my hunger for personal growth and understanding of what makes people, places, and cultures so different and also so alike.
When I travel solo, I am alone, but I rarely feel lonely because even as a child, I have always found solace in solitude. When I drop myself into a foreign land, I always find ways to feel entirely at home. Whether I’m in the moment or revisiting precious memories of being abroad and alone, I find peace and feel pride in those moments of being brazen and reminding myself what brought me there.
A few years ago, I spent 12 nights alone in the Maldives. While I had always envisioned going there on a vacation dripping in romance, it felt exactly right to go there as an escape to avoid professional burnout. I spent the first five nights at Coco Palm Dhuni Kolhu, Maldives, where I passed the days reading in my private plunge pool, taking sunrise walks around the island, indulging in massages, snorkeling with hawksbill turtles, enjoying candlelit dinners, and simply marveling at the sparkling blue sea while luxuriating in the comfort of my king-size bed.
Yes, I remember catching a few people staring at me, perhaps feeling bad for me that I was there alone. I will forever remember the judgmental tone of one woman who loudly asked her husband, “Who would come to the Maldives by themselves?” while I was attempting to take the perfectly timed selfie of myself standing in the ocean with my arms in the air. Instead of retreating to my room, embarrassed for being so exposed as the loner, that comment made me smile and mentally scream, “Because I can!” Everything I did on that trip is what I would have done if I was there with a partner. The trip showed me how to slow down and find peace in loving myself again, and that no destination or hotel should be off-limits because of a stereotype others have passed on.
When I travel solo, I am alone, but I rarely feel lonely because even as a child, I have always found solace in solitude
Traveling at One’s Own Pace
Solo travel has also taught me that no day is wasted when it is spent doing exactly what I want to do.
As someone who moves quickly, solo travel has taught me the art of lingering because there is so much I want to experience. When I’m alone, there is no need to worry about anyone else being bored when I want to be still. There is no fear of needing to find an activity to distract from the silence that creeps in after every conversation topic has been covered. In fact, there is no need to speak at all outside of “please” and “thank you” or while ordering whatever it is I’m craving at the moment – from the room service toast at NIZUC Resort & Spa in Mexico that I will wax poetic about forever, or the transformative green curry I ordered every day for lunch at Andara Resort & Villas in Phuket, or even a crisp glass of my favorite champagne at The Stage bar inside The Londoner in Leicester Square.
My history of solo travel dates back to August 2006, when I was 21 and spent 24 hours in Dublin during my summer studying abroad in London. I selected Dublin because it offered the shortest flight and was the most budget-friendly option that would still help me get an extra stamp in my passport. With each solo trip, I have become more audacious, caring less about practicalities as I pursued incredible experiences and places that not even the best Instagram filter could do justice to.
As someone who moves quickly, solo travel has taught me the art of lingering because there is so much I want to experience
For example, after a work trip to Istanbul in 2015, I stopped in Vienna for three nights. I built the trip around seeing a performance at the Vienna State Opera – an experience my parents had enjoyed while my mom was pregnant with me. I had packed my favorite cocktail dress for the occasion and boldly asked someone to take my picture before the curtain went up. I needed to commemorate my first formal solo date night, after all, and what better place to do it than somewhere iconic like Vienna? After the audience gave a standing ovation for the cast of Rigoletto, I stood in line to get a hot dog at the famed wurst stand, Bitzinger, right outside the opera house, before enjoying a moonlit stroll back to my hotel, Hotel Sans Souci Wien, which could rival most art galleries. That photo from the opera is still one of my favorites because it represents how boldly I have pursued bucket-list experiences alone and not because I don’t have anyone else to share them with, but because I have embraced the power to choose the when and where of creating solo moments that make me feel special. Too often, we expect others to do that for us or wait for the perfect moment when schedules align. Life is simply too short. Pack the dress, book the ticket, make the dinner reservation for one, and go.
Appreciating the Details
A few years later, in October 2019, I chose to spend a month living in Spain. My work could be done remotely, and I was craving an immersion in a new culture for an extended time. My home base was an apartment in Sitges, and I was fortunate to fit in so many different experiences in a 30-day window. One of my favorite weekends was spent in Bilbao, a city I chose for its architecture, art, and culinary scene. Each morning, I sipped coffee while wrapped in a bathrobe and sitting on my private balcony at the The Artist Grand Hotel of Art, which overlooks the iconic Guggenheim Museum, before heading out for whatever the day had in store.
I had one of the best meals of my life that weekend at a restaurant called Mina. During the 10-course tasting menu, I learned how much stronger my sensory experience was when I dined alone. In the absence of conversation, I took note of the crunch of caviar that topped a dish of cheese and kumquats, and tasted the perfection that occurred when that bite was paired with a sip of Sitta Laranxa Albariño, a local orange wine. I also heard everything happening around me – the lively conversation of other patrons, the wine being poured, and the order of operations in the kitchen. It was bliss. We often move so quickly that we cannot appreciate the beauty of every detail that goes into the dining experience. My dinner in Bilbao taught me that meals are one example of the magic of travel that deserves applause and awe. I may not have such a vibrant memory of that dinner if I was with a companion whose presence was more captivating than the cuisine.
Other fond memories I have made while traveling alone are spending six hours in Shanghai before a flight home, running around the city eating cumin ribs at Di Shui Dong and trying every dumpling I could fit into my stomach, with no one around to judge my sodium intake. I have filled a spring weekend pedaling around Copenhagen thanks to the free bike rentals at Villa Copenhagen, which allowed me to clock valuable exercise minutes as I explored countless neighborhoods. During a two-night visit to Malta, I enjoyed leisurely mornings doing (hopefully) discreet people watching and some innocent eavesdropping over extended breakfasts at ION Harbour, the rooftop restaurant at Iniala Valletta, before I would head out to visit one awe-inspiring cathedral after another.
I have made memories while exploring so many other destinations far away from my home in the United States – Amsterdam, Bali, Barcelona, Beijing, Bogotá, Helsinki, Hong Kong, Mexico City, Paris, Stockholm, and others – while also making time for solo excursions closer to home whenever the opportunities arise.
Upon each occasion, traveling alone has taught me to learn how to enjoy my own company, make my own adventures, and be at peace with my choices. Like me, traveling alone will teach you countless lessons if you are open to hearing them.
The Choice to Go Solo
The best lesson I’ve learned while solo traveling is more of a reminder of something I’ve always known that took me decades to embrace as a positive. I am the master of my destiny; I have the power to choose to find the positive in every situation – even when that feels impossible – and I will always win if I bet on myself.
There is no better time to embrace this reality while traveling alone, when there are no negotiations, arguments, or disappointments from others and when there are no options but to take full responsibility for both my great decisions and unwise moves.
Solo travel opportunities arise for me often, so I continue to pursue them. My choice to travel alone is not about a lack of having anyone who wants to come along or to prove a point about anything. Rather, I take these trips because they are when I get to be my wild self, completely uncaged, and capable of anything I have been satisfied in different ways by every solo trip because I determine the lens through which I perceive every experience. I suggest everyone try it at least once because I have not found any other situation in life where we have the power to make a result so perfectly ours, so consistently positive, and so rewarding in its result.